I love sleeping, honk-shoo is so goated.
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Most cis guys don’t agonize over it or give it much thought, and sure if they were really at home with themselves theyd probably be okay with being a girl for a few hours or a day but then wanna go back to being a guy.
We have plenty of trans mascs here who have made clear they do not want to be girls. If you wanna know if everyone would choose to he a girl if they could - nope! Trans men exist!
You can try this website and see how you feel: turn-me-into-a-girl.com/
I know trans men exist but it seems incomprehensible to me. I think I might just be particularly awful at being a man. I can’t actually imagine ever feeling like a man. I just wish everything about me was different.
It sounds like you might be a woman. Thoughts on this?
I don’t know. I had never considered it. I mean I’d thought about being a woman before as a fantasy but not as something I could actually be.
I think I want to be a woman I’m just so scared and unsure. I always thought everyone assumed being a girl is better. I would never choose to be a man.
Well it’s definitely something you can actully be, if you want. Probably worth giving that some more consideration.
Most men, for what it’s worth, have no particular interest in being a woman.
Theres a lot of gender stuff out there. Theres agender, nonbinary, gender fluid, trans femme but not strictly a woman, trans woman, etc.
Yes, its true! Not everyone wants to be a girl even some of the time (almost all cis and trans guys do not want that, a lot of trans men go through a lot of pain and oppression in the effort to be a man).
Did you try the website?
I did try the website and I liked it a lot. It was sweet. It’s really hard to embrace and conceptualize. If I was a woman all the traits I hate about myself as a man would be positives. I could be as soft, weak, and cute as I wanted. I could feel pretty and wear pretty clothes. I could walk different and talk different and act different.
I can’t understand how everyone doesn’t see masculinity as horrible. I try to be as masculine as I can to fit my roll as a man and I hate it. I hate how men are. I can’t imagine wanting to be like any of them. I hate being included in their group.
Why don’t you try wearing pretty clothes now? It’s Halloween! You could go out in a dress and makeup and no one will care.
When I still boymoded (when I was presenting as a man publicly but I had already figured out I was trans) I used to wear a bralette and panties under my clothes and painted my toe nails. You can try different sets of pronouns on this site, which ones make your heart sing? You said you liked being called a good girl.
This was me for a long time. I was a man because thats what people told me i was. I didnt feel like a man, i kept chasing social markers in the hopes that “oh if i have this social marker (e.g. a beard) then ill feel like a man”. But thats not how it works. As far as i can tell, men feel like men because they are men. I wasnt a man so i didnt feel like a man. I felt like a weird not-man-but-cant-say-woman-for-some-reason thing. My gender has expanded beyond strict binary-ness, but i do enjoy womanhood and spend a lot of time being a woman.
I cant tell you youre a woman, or even that youre not a man, thats for you to decide for yourself. But i can say that the men ive talked to about this never questioned their gender, they never had sleepless nights thinking about being a girl or a woman, they didnt fantasize about being an old lady. They wanted to be men. They didnt question it because it fit for them and they enjoyed their man-ness.
As far as whether you can be a girl or not, you absolutely can. Its not something crossed off and forbidden to you, its something you can be. Society sucks and all that, but despite its protestations you can absolutely be a woman. You can be many things. You can be agender, you can be nonbinary in some flavor, you can be bigender, but above all, you can be yourself. Youre allowed to be yourself. If theres something that brings you joy and doesnt harm others then you should pursue it. If being not-a-man brings you joy, or if it alleviates pain, then you should pursue it.
I’ve always felt so alone for feeling this way. Thank you for your kindness. I don’t know how to be myself. I’ve always been trying so hard to be what other people tell me I’m supposed to be.
It takes a shit ton of effort to focus on making other people happy, so much that it can obscure what actually makes US happy
I don’t know what makes me happy. I don’t know what I want. My whole life has always been about everyone else.
You are mirroring my exact thought process for about 10-15 years. It’s only in the last week I’ve felt like I’m finding a goal, a future, where before I spent basically my whole life searching for people and things to distract me from the empty void. I coped by being self sacrificing and saying I was doing everything for others, but it never went away. Feel free to dm if you want to talk more
Oh hey it’s my thoughts from years ago
I always assumed all boys wanted to be girls a s were just lying about it. Turns out nope, it’s just us.
I’ve come to the conclusion that most if not all of us deal with imposter syndrome. Everything you’ve said in this thread is very normal thoughts for a trans person whose egg is cracking. None of them are normal cis thoughts.
I never feel normal. I definitely struggle with feeling like an imposter. It’s like I’m pretending or something. I’ve spent so long trying to copy and emulate other guys. I’m more chameleon than person.
Oof I feel this so much. It’s gotten way better for me as I’ve learned to be myself more and more. Self discovery is such a beautiful albeit messy process that a lot of us never really the chance to do when most of our cis peers did. But it’s never too late. And it has brought me so much joy and clarity already. I’m starting to feel like a person sometimes rather than just a walking mask!
I can’t even imagine how I’d actually like to act. For a long time there was this block in my mind, probably that I put there when I was younger, that just made all of that impossible. It’s like a bunch of rules for being alive and being accepted by society that I’ve enforced on myself. I see other people breaking them and used to feel jealous. Like it wasn’t fair that I was trapped in this heteronormative prison and they could just be free and happy. That it was okay for them but not okay for me. That they were allowed and I wasn’t. I don’t know if that makes sense.
I guess I just realized recently that I had options too. I really kind of want to get my nails done but it makes me scared.
Yup that’s exactly how I used to feel. I did daydream a lot when I was younger and I allowed myself to live a second life as a girl in those daydreams. If you did something similar, it might be a good way to examine what your younger self may have wanted to experience or express. If not, actually either way, experimenting is a great idea others have brought up. Getting your nails done sounds like a fun thing to try! I understand the fear, all I can say is that each of the few times I was at a nail salon, it was just no big deal. Which I’ve heard so many other people say. And if you have any IRL friends or family that you feel comfortable telling that you’re questioning gender stuff, maybe they’ll go with you like a few did with me when I was questioning and in my early days after hatching.