Ya’ll forgive me If this sounds too fucking weird.
But I don’t feel like I got anything to offer friendship or dating wise. Like I feel too boring in a way. As in I got a bit too little and niche interests. Only big one I got right now is art and animation. I play video games a bit rarely, mostly just Luanti’s Mineclonia when I feel like It. Used to collect bootleg video game cartridges too. Also Marxism kind of being kind of a big part of me now since I read a good chunk of theory. Which ofc turns people off so I don’t even bother mentioning It. Though I can nerd out about Sonic and Transformers lore lol.
Not sure If any of this shit makes sense I just kind of feel bad for not trying too hard to socialize and yet feeling lonely again because of my own dumbass. I’m too anxious and scared to go to parties, raves or concerts in general. It’s just all too overwhelming for me. Not to mention that I hate beer because of It’s taste which makes me kind of a prude + I don’t want to do any drugs due to my history of shit health (though I’m ok now). Hell I don’t even talk a ton, I’m pretty timid and quiet irl. Mostly just listening to people. I feel pretty alien around other people.
Idk I just feel frustrated I guess because of my shit decisions making me feel lonely in the long run. I do have one irl friend though who reaches out to me which is good and very cool of them. So at least something.
Trying to get outside your bubble and meet new people is hard as fuck, I’m certainly absolutely shit at it so I’m with you on that one.
What I will say is that any idea that you’re boring or have nothing to offer is not true and a matter of perspective. It sounds like you would be very happy to have a friend who’s also also a Transformers/Sonic nerd and I can guarantee you there’s someone not too far from you who feels the same (unless you live in the middle of nowhere or something).
The hard part is finding and committing to things you actually want to do. Whether it’s board games or toy shows (I know they have conventions with transformers but I’m not plugged into that scene) or trivia nights, you never know what you might really enjoy unless you keep your ears and heart open to the possibilities. My partner joined the local carnivorous plant society this year and it’s been one of his favorite regular social events so you never know what kinda hyper-specific weirdo human gathering things might be happening that you can be a part of.
Yeah, I just can’t get in the right mental headspace at those big social events. Though I did go to some big protests, while they were still based, this year with friends and It went pretty nicely.
I’d probably find some game night things here. Pretty sure there is a few of them where I’m at. Not really into toys, mostly just characters and lore, though if I do get my hands on a 3D printer I could try making some just to see If I can. Thank you for commenting btw!