Ya’ll forgive me If this sounds too fucking weird.
But I don’t feel like I got anything to offer friendship or dating wise. Like I feel too boring in a way. As in I got a bit too little and niche interests. Only big one I got right now is art and animation. I play video games a bit rarely, mostly just Luanti’s Mineclonia when I feel like It. Used to collect bootleg video game cartridges too. Also Marxism kind of being kind of a big part of me now since I read a good chunk of theory. Which ofc turns people off so I don’t even bother mentioning It. Though I can nerd out about Sonic and Transformers lore lol.
Not sure If any of this shit makes sense I just kind of feel bad for not trying too hard to socialize and yet feeling lonely again because of my own dumbass. I’m too anxious and scared to go to parties, raves or concerts in general. It’s just all too overwhelming for me. Not to mention that I hate beer because of It’s taste which makes me kind of a prude + I don’t want to do any drugs due to my history of shit health (though I’m ok now). Hell I don’t even talk a ton, I’m pretty timid and quiet irl. Mostly just listening to people. I feel pretty alien around other people.
Idk I just feel frustrated I guess because of my shit decisions making me feel lonely in the long run. I do have one irl friend though who reaches out to me which is good and very cool of them. So at least something.
Yeah, I just can’t get in the right mental headspace at those big social events. Though I did go to some big protests, while they were still based, this year with friends and It went pretty nicely.
I’d probably find some game night things here. Pretty sure there is a few of them where I’m at. Not really into toys, mostly just characters and lore, though if I do get my hands on a 3D printer I could try making some just to see If I can. Thank you for commenting btw!