i hope we all know this and are just doing it as a bit, but sometimes i do see shit on this website that makes me go “oh ya’ll are genuinely convinced he exists”

“danny devito” is not real, matilda is an incredibly niche film that very few people have seen.

“frank reynolds” is basically non existent and has been witnessed by such a small portion of the population as to not be relevant. the idea that most people have in their heads about frank reynolds is propaganda made up by unfunny white guys.

we do not live in a world where philadelphia is actually always sunny. there is not an excess of dvds or blu-rays of it.

most of the time when people talk about “danny devito” what they’re actually talking about is a mix of two unrelated people, colin farrell who also played the penguin, and wallace shawn who is also a short weird looking guy with a kooky accent.

dee is good. we should be featuring more of her. we should encourage more kaitlin olson featuring whatever lines you and your friend braden can remember. don’t fall for dennis’s propaganda comrades.