"Look Timmy, I get you want me to be your ‘mom’ or whatever, but have you considered that my do-nothing job that pays me like 80k a year makes me feel kinda alienated sometimes? I’m the real victim.

Anyway I’ve decided we’re going to join a MLM scheme/cult that I heard about on AOL. So I’m going to be busy, you’ll have to make your own Mac-n-Cheese tonight."