What does natter mean?

I’m having a hard time right now. I’ve put myself in time out, and I don’t know where to reach to. I feel so frustrated, cornered and stuck. I’m completely out of control of having the space, time, energy to be my own person.

I was traumatized in my early years, through my teen years, and thank to getting caught up in a dv relationship, again in my 20s.

I’ve a son who has ADHD, ODD, and contuct disorder. You bet, child of the dv. I’ve done it own my own, we haven’t seen my kids father since he was 14months old. Better off, happier, met my dear love 7 years ago. I have my little family and I love all of it. My son loves his stepdad, they bond over a love of baseball, and happy we are together us three.

Cept, see, oppositional defiance disorder, and contuct disorder are not entry level mental health conditions. The last six months have been brutal.

It’s his 12 birthday today, his teacher called me, today, why today, with bad news of his behavior this week, and my brother, who I hardly talk to, is … I think in a nice way, telling me all the awesome things he’s doing as a single, with good employment, no kids guy. And … I just deleted my last two paragraphs talking about the whys. I don’t need to explain my truth bare now.

I just feel frustrated, cornered and stuck. My life choices led me here. Tryig my best my whole life and the world around me is so bleak.

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Shit I’ll celebrate a sunny day when my whole family is home by simply preparing a nice dinner for us and spending time together, happy and joyful. I’ll sing until I’ve annoyed everyone and we laugh, just because the sun is out and I’m in a good mood. Good moods are worth celebrating as they don’t come everyday

Plenty of things to celebrate if you look small. I hope you find something small to celebrate soon!

We have a very old, super popular Italian bakery near me. They have chocolate florotine cookies (my favorite) and other amazing treats.

I do the same, and will stop in there for a special occasion.

Nothing has really gone well this week, nor has it gone bad (as long as I don’t think about democracy falling in my country).

However both my flower and veggie garden are currently popping off in such a beautiful way right now. Walking the yard in the mornings is an absolute delight this week

I quit playing the Sims 4, I am simply, a builder. I would go on a month binge, then not play for 6months. Sometimes I’d play once a month-

But having to fix my mods every single time I booted was so much. I never had issue finding what was broken, it was just so time consuming. Then after two hours the game would be ready to play, and … I would be instantly bored, forgot my house plan to the mind vortex, all energy spent, ugh. That game is seriously dead.

I was beyond excited to move from xbox to pc with that game. amazing how it took no time at all for me to hate it.

I also play PvE Rust, it takes like a half hour to load in, and i get a whopping 33FPS. Love that game so much, 20-30mins loading time is fine if I dont have to fix mods like a sleuth every fuckin time I want to play. Just walk slowly so the graphics can load in lmao

I still load into Rust and immediately just, log off often. Hyperfocus just isnt there sometimes. Thats when I load N (it’s free and fun!) and play short levels.

I have to, I mean HAVE to, get paperwork done today.

So far today I have mowed/weed wacked the yard, weeded and watered my garden, pulled meat from the freezer to defrost and planned dinner for tonight, and took one phone call in regards to said paperwork. They called me, of course.

I’m now on break and it’s nearly noon. This paperwork is over my head and I am overwhelmed. I could start on other chores just to avoid it, instead I uh, am taking break. I have to get this done, and I am annoyed as to why I have to do it at all… I might just pull it out to look at it. That’s step one no?

Viva!