“All bodies are unique and essential. All bodies have strengths and needs that must be met. We are powerful, not despite the complexities of our bodies, but because of them. All bodies are confined by ability, race, gender, sexuality, class, nation state, religion, and more, and we cannot separate them.”
From “What is Disability Justice” (Adapted from Patty Berne’s “Disability Justice – A Working Draft”, Published in Skin, Tooth, and Bone: The Basis of Movement is Our People, A Disability Justice Primer, Second Edition.
As always, we ask that in order to participate in the weekly megathread, one self-identifies as some form of disabled, which is broadly defined in the community sidebar:
“Disability” is an umbrella term which encompasses physical disabilities, emotional/psychiatric disabilities, neurodivergence, intellectual/developmental disabilities, sensory disabilities, invisible disabilities, and more. You do not have to have an official diagnosis to consider yourself disabled.
Mask up, love one another, and stay alive for one more week.
I am so sorry, but I need to vent, and the only person I talk to has disappeared with no notice (probably just overwhelmed with life stuff but I hope they’re okay. I’m worried.)
I am in overwhelming pain. My chronic intractable pain has been so much worse lately. Probably at least partially due to stress because everything is fucked. I can’t afford my next pain medicine refill, and I’m nearly out, and the friend that disappeared usually helps me cover it. I’m disabled and can’t work and have literally no money. So I’m just fucked. Even WITH the meds, I’ve been struggling to handle the pain and it’s scary. I genuinely don’t know how I’m going to survive without any kind of pain control. Not to mention the withdrawal. I am scared. I am scared I am going to get overstimulated and overwhelmed from the pain that I go all stereotypical autistic meltdown and shutdown and bash my fists into my head and hurt myself, and I feel ashamed and weak that I can’t just deal with it like a normal person. I don’t know what to do. I’m so stressed and in pain and anxious I’m dealing with dissociation, depersonalization, derealization way more often than usual. I don’t know what to do. I don’t know how I’m going to survive. I don’t know. I’m fucking scared, I can’t take this pain. I’m sorry for whining and being weak especially when so many have it so much worse than me. I don’t even know if this makes sense. I can’t think.
Sorry to hear this. Life is awful in pain and unable to get the help you need. As gingerbrat said, there’s mutual aid, however it’s a lottery as to whether anyone will answer or you’ll get enough. It’s a sick world where we all need to post our sob stories online and compete against each other, hoping someone will choose to help us over the others.
You are not whining, and there is nothing to be sorry about. You’re in chronic pain and that’s fucking scary. Don’t apologize, I’m glad you shared your story.
As for actual help with your problem, you could try and make a mutual aid request and ask for money so your next refill is covered at least. It’s a temporary solution, but maybe your friend will contact you once they’re better.
I can’t imagine how horrible your pain must be. Just know that I hope you can get your painmeds very soon. Sending a lot of love to you, friend