I love sleeping, honk-shoo is so goated.
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I can’t even imagine how I’d actually like to act. For a long time there was this block in my mind, probably that I put there when I was younger, that just made all of that impossible. It’s like a bunch of rules for being alive and being accepted by society that I’ve enforced on myself. I see other people breaking them and used to feel jealous. Like it wasn’t fair that I was trapped in this heteronormative prison and they could just be free and happy. That it was okay for them but not okay for me. That they were allowed and I wasn’t. I don’t know if that makes sense.
I guess I just realized recently that I had options too. I really kind of want to get my nails done but it makes me scared.
Yup that’s exactly how I used to feel. I did daydream a lot when I was younger and I allowed myself to live a second life as a girl in those daydreams. If you did something similar, it might be a good way to examine what your younger self may have wanted to experience or express. If not, actually either way, experimenting is a great idea others have brought up. Getting your nails done sounds like a fun thing to try! I understand the fear, all I can say is that each of the few times I was at a nail salon, it was just no big deal. Which I’ve heard so many other people say. And if you have any IRL friends or family that you feel comfortable telling that you’re questioning gender stuff, maybe they’ll go with you like a few did with me when I was questioning and in my early days after hatching.