I love sleeping, honk-shoo is so goated.
As a reminder, please do not discuss current struggle sessions in the mega. We want this to be a little oasis for all of us and the best way to do that is not to feed into existing conflict on the site.
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HELLO THIS IS THE MEGA SIGN UP POST/LIST POST
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Stick me on the end, ma’am
Idk why my post didn’t post earlier. But it’s so nice not having had to do a “coming out” at this new job. They asked me what my preferred name and pronouns were when I put in my application, and from what I’ve seen so far, it seems like my name in all of the systems is my preferred name and I only had to use the legal one for, well, legal reasons. I keep being referred to with she/her pronouns in emails and stuff, and it’s so nice that I didn’t have to ask for it. And no one has been weird in zoom calls yet. I’m being treated completely and entirely as a woman. I don’t really know how to describe it, because all of my friends treat me like a woman, but I think the difference is that I had to come out to them. I just got this job, walked in the proverbial (online) doors and from day 1 I’m just a woman. It feels incredible.
I switched jobs after I started socially transitioning so that I could a) be sure I was going to be at a job where me being trans was not going to be a problem and b) so that I wouldn’t have to come out at my old job where I already knew that my boss’s boss was transphobic. Though part of me now wished I had come out there once I had already secured a new job just to blow everyone’s minds. I was already out to some of my coworkers who I was friends with outside of work, I know I would’ve gotten support from them during my last couple weeks.
My friend scratched my head and called me good
i kissed so many t girls in a week that the gods had to make me sick to stop me and my girl kissing rampage
Ma’am, it looks like you have caught the gay.
There is a non zero chance you picked something up from smooching
one person i kissed was not sick but her wife was very very sick, which is probably where i could have got that from
Gay is actually bad :very-smart:
If the sin is so bad then whys it gotta taste so sweet?
That’s Lilith’s blessing /s
Ok I know youre saying /s but genuinely I love Lilith!! Theres an amazing masters thesis i read laying out the history of Lilith from modern midrashim all the way back to the ardat lili demons and Lamashtu! Tracing her demonization, from a goddess to the modern day conception of non- and antipatriarchal “dark” femininity and how shes the dual form of Eve and Shekhinah and Gods consort. Its so cooool!
Oooo that sounds super interesting! I only know a little bit of Lilith thanks to the show Chilling Adventures of Sabrina but the character seemed really cool.
Originally I was going to say it’s the sweetness of the forbidden fruit and then that kinda turned into Lilith’s blessing as I was thinking about it, but I didn’t feel I had enough knowledge to say it sincerely. Which, maybe I should find a different way of expressing that without sarcasm. Idk.
Its no worries! Lilith is a really cool mythology and evolution, showing the demonization of femininity as patriarchal structures were imposed. She like is there and then shes gone for a while and then she shows back up, its really interesting. If you want the masters thesis i can try to find it for ya.
People also point to the alphabet of ben sira a lot, but that text may have been the rabbinical equivalent of south park, so im hesitant to rely on its framing as mythological fact and treat it with some suspicion.
Spend my whole life obsessing that my voice isn’t deep enough and feel extremely anxious about it.
Realize I’m trans.
It’s too deep. 😭
I mentioned this already on tracha, but I think I’m going to log off and touch grass for a while, at least a month, probably longer. I just have too much going on right now, I feel like I’m drowning. Holding a full time job, school work, irl social obligations, online social obligations… I just can’t anymore. So I’ll be taking a break to focus on myself for a while.
We’ll miss you! Good luck getting through real life, I believe in you.
I hope you get exactly what you need, we’ll be here for you when you get back
o7 another one lost to the
o7
Holy fuxk I just told my lib family. They’re not transphobic, this shit is still terrifying
Congrats on getting past that. Hope they do well!
So far so good, the only response has been positive, I’m smiling real hard.
Congrats!
Thank you! Like I said, they’re libs, so my expectations were kinda high, but it’s really been sweet
Yippeeee
It’s a blessing I’m so lucky to have chill close family
Thats so awesome!
I knew my ex would be cool with it back when we were still together and Id just cracked my egg. Theyre enby. I knew they would but it was still scary! Same with my family, I knew they’d all be cool and supportive but its still a big hurdle to climb that fear. Good job!
Yeah they’ve all been great, I’m just not used to anyone knowing besides me and my partner. But I’m so blessed having a chill family, it’s personal and a process, but at least there’s love and respect
discussion of pornography, though nothing inherently explicit
what is with the prevalence of anti-porn anti-sex etc sentiment present even in leftist spaces (yes even here)? are we really still pretending that this stuff is bad for you in 2025, or that “porn addiction” is a real thing? anti-sex puritanism unless missionary for the purposes of procreation is not something that should be part of your ideology methinks. sex, sexual development, etc are normal healthy things that should be encouraged. weve already seen what mass sexual repression does to people and its not a good thing.
promoting fascist ideology and helping create very serious problems is a bad thing actually, and the fact that we are still encouraged to live in a panopticon where questioning your fascist beliefs even slightly can make you lose of your entire support system is a shame.
“gooner” is literally just the new “removed” in a lot of cases (which was, among other things, the word nazis used to describe people/things they didnt like) and for some reason we are just okay with this?? and if you dare point out “hey this is a bad thing actually” then people refuse to take you seriously
I just got the queer and trans zine I submitted my artwork to in the mail and it features dozens of artists from all over the world, I’m on the back cover and I have another piece in it as well. It was also part of a local zine fest. This is the first public art event I’ve done since the start of the pandemic that killed all my desire to do art markets and gallery showings.
biting during sex
I love biting so much. I used to be a gross gum kid as a kid, like keep it all and chew on it over days lol. It never made the leap to sex until after E and now its not like a fun side thing or oh I just like doing it. It is MANDATORY and WE WILL DISCUSS IT BEFORE. Now, it does not have to happen to the other person - I am also satisfied biting clothes or blankets, but I will be biting no matter what
telling trans girls to eat more so they grow bigger tits is good and praxis but we should also be telling them to eat more so they grow bigger tummies
Trans tummy ♡
Its not even tummy tuesday
trans tummy :3
Its not even tummy tuesday
yes it is
It is now!
Trans tummies gotta be my fav genre of tummy <3
I want boobs not tummy
we should also workout since fat attaches to muscles thus making the tummy, booby and booty bigger
unfortunately my tits and tummy will never be proportionate. I will always have smaller boobs than a cis woman with a tummy of the same size.
just keep going youll get there just trust the process keep it up its just a matter of time dont worry about it
this is the scientific method trust me
/silly
Hi comrades, I’m feeling really confused. It doesn’t seem possible that I could actually have these feelings. I never seriously considered it an option for myself. I don’t feel like a man and never have. I hate everything about myself. I promise I’m really asking, I’m not trying to be a jerk or anything. I’m sorry. I’m always sorry.
Is it really possible to choose to be a girl if I want? I mean me personally. Like other people can but I don’t think I could. Is it really something anyone who wants to can do? Why wouldn’t everyone?
What if I’m just bad at being a guy but that doesn’t mean I should quit being a guy?
Similarly what if I’m equally bad at being a girl and it’s being human I’m bad at?
I saw a lot of pics, and literally everyone looks better as a girl, but what if I looked way worse?
Is it really true that most guys don’t feel any FOMO about being a girl? I only get one life why would I want to be a dude the whole time?
What if I’m just such a perverted and pathetic straight guy that I’ve tricked myself into doing this for some kind of thrill?
Obviously I’d love to be told I was a good girl and all of that, but again, who doesn’t?
How do I know I’m not being delusional? How do I know I’m actually trans and not pretending or deceiving myself?
Obviously I’d love to be told I was a good girl and all of that, but again, who doesn’t?
the overwhelming majority of cis men
Most cis guys don’t agonize over it or give it much thought, and sure if they were really at home with themselves theyd probably be okay with being a girl for a few hours or a day but then wanna go back to being a guy.
We have plenty of trans mascs here who have made clear they do not want to be girls. If you wanna know if everyone would choose to he a girl if they could - nope! Trans men exist!
You can try this website and see how you feel: turn-me-into-a-girl.com/
I know trans men exist but it seems incomprehensible to me. I think I might just be particularly awful at being a man. I can’t actually imagine ever feeling like a man. I just wish everything about me was different.
It sounds like you might be a woman. Thoughts on this?
I don’t know. I had never considered it. I mean I’d thought about being a woman before as a fantasy but not as something I could actually be.
I think I want to be a woman I’m just so scared and unsure. I always thought everyone assumed being a girl is better. I would never choose to be a man.
Well it’s definitely something you can actully be, if you want. Probably worth giving that some more consideration.
Most men, for what it’s worth, have no particular interest in being a woman.
Theres a lot of gender stuff out there. Theres agender, nonbinary, gender fluid, trans femme but not strictly a woman, trans woman, etc.
Yes, its true! Not everyone wants to be a girl even some of the time (almost all cis and trans guys do not want that, a lot of trans men go through a lot of pain and oppression in the effort to be a man).
Did you try the website?
I did try the website and I liked it a lot. It was sweet. It’s really hard to embrace and conceptualize. If I was a woman all the traits I hate about myself as a man would be positives. I could be as soft, weak, and cute as I wanted. I could feel pretty and wear pretty clothes. I could walk different and talk different and act different.
I can’t understand how everyone doesn’t see masculinity as horrible. I try to be as masculine as I can to fit my roll as a man and I hate it. I hate how men are. I can’t imagine wanting to be like any of them. I hate being included in their group.
Why don’t you try wearing pretty clothes now? It’s Halloween! You could go out in a dress and makeup and no one will care.
When I still boymoded (when I was presenting as a man publicly but I had already figured out I was trans) I used to wear a bralette and panties under my clothes and painted my toe nails. You can try different sets of pronouns on this site, which ones make your heart sing? You said you liked being called a good girl.
I can’t actually imagine ever feeling like a man.
This was me for a long time. I was a man because thats what people told me i was. I didnt feel like a man, i kept chasing social markers in the hopes that “oh if i have this social marker (e.g. a beard) then ill feel like a man”. But thats not how it works. As far as i can tell, men feel like men because they are men. I wasnt a man so i didnt feel like a man. I felt like a weird not-man-but-cant-say-woman-for-some-reason thing. My gender has expanded beyond strict binary-ness, but i do enjoy womanhood and spend a lot of time being a woman.
I cant tell you youre a woman, or even that youre not a man, thats for you to decide for yourself. But i can say that the men ive talked to about this never questioned their gender, they never had sleepless nights thinking about being a girl or a woman, they didnt fantasize about being an old lady. They wanted to be men. They didnt question it because it fit for them and they enjoyed their man-ness.
As far as whether you can be a girl or not, you absolutely can. Its not something crossed off and forbidden to you, its something you can be. Society sucks and all that, but despite its protestations you can absolutely be a woman. You can be many things. You can be agender, you can be nonbinary in some flavor, you can be bigender, but above all, you can be yourself. Youre allowed to be yourself. If theres something that brings you joy and doesnt harm others then you should pursue it. If being not-a-man brings you joy, or if it alleviates pain, then you should pursue it.
Oh hey it’s my thoughts from years ago
I always assumed all boys wanted to be girls a s were just lying about it. Turns out nope, it’s just us.
I’ve come to the conclusion that most if not all of us deal with imposter syndrome. Everything you’ve said in this thread is very normal thoughts for a trans person whose egg is cracking. None of them are normal cis thoughts.
In my experience, you’ll learn more from a month of experimentation than you will from years of ruminating about it. Try on clothing made for women. Try out some makeup. If your hair is short, maybe try on a wig. Even just change your pronouns on here to see how it feels. Whatever you can safely access, you should give it a try.
Follow up each session of experimentation with some reflection and self care. You’re learning to love and be patient with yourself just as much as you’re experimenting with gender.
And for reference, I didn’t fully accept I was trans until I was 2 weeks on estrogen. In a lot of ways, the doubt is built into the process.
I don’t think it’s something that you can really tell without quite some introspection. Seems like you’re already doing that and are on the right track. Of course, no one other than you can look inside what’s going on in your head.
Is it really possible to choose to be a girl if I want? I mean me personally. Like other people can but I don’t think I could.
I mean this in a good way. You are not special. Why couldn’t you become a girl?
Similarly what if I’m equally bad at being a girl and it’s being human I’m bad at?
If you’re trans, then transitioning will make it easier to be good at humaning.
What if I’m just such a perverted and pathetic straight guy that I’ve tricked myself into doing this for some kind of thrill?
Don’t be silly, without perverts, how would people be born?
But on a serious note, being trans is hard, and doing it for a fetish is a terrible tradeoff.
Is it really true that most guys don’t feel any FOMO about being a girl?
Cis guys often get terrified of even appearing “girly” and mock each other for it.
I know my comment here is 4 days late, but since you haven’t had a single comment from a transmasc person (that I’ve seen), I figured maybe you’d like to hear from one of us.
All of your feelings about being a guy (why would anyone want that? Do most men really not want to be women? Maybe if I just double down on acting like a man I’ll feel like one), all of those feelings I’ve had in reverse. It never made sense to me that women were happy as women, I really thought they were lying about it. I thought if only I could “perform girl” better maybe I’d actually feel like one, surely the women who are super femme are doing it just to feel more like women, right? And if I could just do the same, maybe I’d have their poise and confidence in my feminity.
Well, no. Of course not. I’m trans. I’m not a woman, and pretending to be one sucked so fucking bad. I crave a (slightly) more masculine presentation than I ever allowed myself when I thought I was a woman. And I feel so much more comfortable with myself now! I feel like I can actually be a human, actually be myself, now that I’m no longer working so very hard to pretend to be a woman.
I can’t tell you you’re a woman, you have to decide that for yourself, but I can tell you that there are people who would never in a million years choose to be women. There are lots of humans on earth who would be (and, for some of us, have been) deeply, deeply unhappy living as women.
this is your mandatory reminder that you cant trust doctors
Chat. I have a place I can reliably do my online job
i’m getting a trach shave next week (small yay!)
i’ve only told my partner, my boss (for sick leave), and now trans mega
