As an absolutely autistic person whose parents didn’t bother to get it diagnosed, I really do disagree. Diagnoses are basically just descriptive labels that can help identify potentially useful treatments, that’s it; they’re not some magical blame receptacle.
I think my greatest issue with this post is it implies that if you DON’T have a diagnosable mental condition, but still struggle, then it must inherently mean that you’re stupid, weak annoying, unloveable etc.
But I also think a child will conclude that they’re stupid … unloveable etc, if that’s how they’re taught to feel, with or without a diagnosis. I had many struggles, but my parents never ‘expected’ me to be “normal”, they just supported me and we worked out shit as it happened - my struggles were a result of a variety of behaviours specific to me, my personality, my flavour of autism, etc.
But this is the same for every human being to ever live. A diagnosis might’ve described some of those behaviours, but what would that have changed? I’ll be honest - I’m glad my parents didn’t get me diagnosed, they feared that would just place a wholly new unhelpful expectation on me, and I think they were right.
Obviously a lot of people absolutely benefit from diagnosis, not knocking it, but I also don’t think they’re automatically helpful in all circumstances.
I agree somehwat. If people did not hate unusual or different behaviors and treat others poorly as a result, then kids without a diagnosis would not have a problem. But teachers and parents frequently get super frustrated with ADHD kids, and I have never recovered from how it made me feel as a kid, even decades later.
Edit: Please stop downvoting the above because it’s an alternate opinion. Lets not make this place reddit.
And I agree with it because you’re only looking at it from a medical perspective. Look at it from the kids perspective. Maybe it didn’t hit you like this, but it DEFINITELY hit me like this.
I had no idea what was going on.
All I knew was that I was different from everyone else. I couldn’t figure out why. No one was talking about it. Anytime I tried to figure out why or ask questions I was met with things that just left me more confused. Things that I’d try to understand but couldn’t. I spent most of my life thinking I was broken because I couldn’t grasp anything that others took for granted. All of that internalized confusion and hatred went back at myself because I didn’t have anything to point to. All I knew was that something was different from everything else but I didn’t know why. In not knowing why, I came up with negative reasons. Partially because my parents were terrible, true, but also just because that’s what I was being told by everyone else in society too. It’s not just what your parents are going to teach you how to feel. It’s also how society treats you and how they’re going to look at you when you’re asking those questions.
Me not having a diagnosis as a child led to decades of confusion and self hatred because I couldn’t find my place in the world. Very little of that had to do with how my parents raised me and how society treats someone who is different. Giving me an answer suddenly closed those questions and allowed me to start enjoying my life instead of analyzing it.
As an absolutely autistic person whose parents didn’t bother to get it diagnosed, I really do disagree. Diagnoses are basically just descriptive labels that can help identify potentially useful treatments, that’s it; they’re not some magical blame receptacle.
I think my greatest issue with this post is it implies that if you DON’T have a diagnosable mental condition, but still struggle, then it must inherently mean that you’re stupid, weak annoying, unloveable etc.
But I also think a child will conclude that they’re stupid … unloveable etc, if that’s how they’re taught to feel, with or without a diagnosis. I had many struggles, but my parents never ‘expected’ me to be “normal”, they just supported me and we worked out shit as it happened - my struggles were a result of a variety of behaviours specific to me, my personality, my flavour of autism, etc.
But this is the same for every human being to ever live. A diagnosis might’ve described some of those behaviours, but what would that have changed? I’ll be honest - I’m glad my parents didn’t get me diagnosed, they feared that would just place a wholly new unhelpful expectation on me, and I think they were right.
Obviously a lot of people absolutely benefit from diagnosis, not knocking it, but I also don’t think they’re automatically helpful in all circumstances.
I agree somehwat. If people did not hate unusual or different behaviors and treat others poorly as a result, then kids without a diagnosis would not have a problem. But teachers and parents frequently get super frustrated with ADHD kids, and I have never recovered from how it made me feel as a kid, even decades later.
That’s very true. Maybe their real use is to change other peoples’ perception. But that’s very… sad to need a diagnosis to do.
Edit: Please stop downvoting the above because it’s an alternate opinion. Lets not make this place reddit.
And I agree with it because you’re only looking at it from a medical perspective. Look at it from the kids perspective. Maybe it didn’t hit you like this, but it DEFINITELY hit me like this.
I had no idea what was going on.
All I knew was that I was different from everyone else. I couldn’t figure out why. No one was talking about it. Anytime I tried to figure out why or ask questions I was met with things that just left me more confused. Things that I’d try to understand but couldn’t. I spent most of my life thinking I was broken because I couldn’t grasp anything that others took for granted. All of that internalized confusion and hatred went back at myself because I didn’t have anything to point to. All I knew was that something was different from everything else but I didn’t know why. In not knowing why, I came up with negative reasons. Partially because my parents were terrible, true, but also just because that’s what I was being told by everyone else in society too. It’s not just what your parents are going to teach you how to feel. It’s also how society treats you and how they’re going to look at you when you’re asking those questions.
Me not having a diagnosis as a child led to decades of confusion and self hatred because I couldn’t find my place in the world. Very little of that had to do with how my parents raised me and how society treats someone who is different. Giving me an answer suddenly closed those questions and allowed me to start enjoying my life instead of analyzing it.
I can sympathise with that experience, I guess I can sort of see why you found it helpful. But aye, it certainly doesn’t reflect my own, at all.
Thanks for the understanding and open response <3
Oh absolutely. Not saying it’s universal. But can definitely be helpful to a lot of us. <3