Hello everyone! Don’t have a lot to say, finally got around to making the new mega.
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Mask up, love one another, and stay alive for one more week.
i did something really really hard yesterday, had a meltdown and threw up from the stress, but i did it. and there seems to be this expectation from the people around me, that cos i did it once i can do it again, indefinitely. but it takes me like, a week to recover from this sorta thing, or else i get super burnt out
like in highschool i would throw up from stress every morning and that didn’t stop until i started skipping 50% of my classes
i was not built for life i think
That’s awful. I used to get the same thing when I had a social life/work, etc. There eventually reached a stage where, whenever I had to do anything the next day, even if it was something fun, I would become sick the night before, and by the next morning I’d be vomiting and so ill I couldn’t go. Didn’t realise at the time it was anxiety.
i was not built for life i think
It’s just that life now is set up to be awful. Enforced early starts, deadlines, threats of homelessness and destitution if you don’t achieve what you’re meant to. Humans have created this mess, it’s not natural. There’s a film from about 1971 called “Walkabout” about 2 kids who get lost in the Australian outback, meet an Aborigine boy and spend some time living with him, and that is what I think life is meant to be like. No stress, no early starts, no unnatural enforced activity. Just waking up when you naturally feel like it, searching for food, swimming, eating, walking around and sleeping.
thanks for that
god i want to live in a hunter gatherer society so bad
Me too! Another film about living like that is The Clan of the Cave Bear.
Having such a volatile response sounds absolutely exhausting, physically and mentally. You deserve the space to take the time you need to recover, without the expectation to keep pushing yourself before you’re ready or able. Hope you aren’t being pressured too much to do so. Sending hugs, and calming energy, comrade.
thanks
there’s a bit of pressure, but im pretty sure most of it is coming from internally. i have pretty bad productivity brainworms, i think
I hear you. The internal, unseen stuff feels like the biggest hurdles sometimes.