Hello everyone! Don’t have a lot to say, finally got around to making the new mega.
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“Disability” is an umbrella term which encompasses physical disabilities, emotional/psychiatric disabilities, neurodivergence, intellectual/developmental disabilities, sensory disabilities, invisible disabilities, and more. You do not have to have an official diagnosis to consider yourself disabled.
Mask up, love one another, and stay alive for one more week.
what are support systems, what is identity, mention of suicide
I would (half-jokingly) be interested in a case study about friendship and support systems and what kinds of correlations there are and what factors contribute to a support system forming.
I think my brain is a little cooked in that I really don’t see a way to meet new people and make friends, at least in my current ways of approaching things. I have a strong tendency to show up to things, look around, and if someone doesn’t talk to me or something doesn’t catch my interest, I end up leaving, because I just feel weird standing there thinking to myself, “should I talk to someone, who should I talk to, how do I decide” Like showing up to things by myself feels useless, I’m completely on rails.
I have yet to get to a Pride event this year. I consistently have conflicts or am burnt out. But that’s I guess my only chance to meet people remotely like me. Hell, I’d be posting this in the trans comm, but posting there really spikes my rejection sensitivity. I don’t have the energy to do that to myself or ruin the community for other queers.
It’s especially tough because I came out to my pre-COVID friends online and they liked the post and went on with life. Selfishly, I thought at least one person might want to reconnect, or at least say “so that’s where you’ve been!”
I thought about killing myself. I felt like I was already dead. It’s not like anyone was reaching out to me anyway.
And now, if I say anything, I’m bringing up old shit. I’m being dramatic.
I don’t know what I consider a support system, but off the cuff, I’d say I don’t really have one. I have my family, who I can talk to sometimes. But nobody is experiencing this in real time with me. Nobody checks in on me, nobody reaches out if I go quiet.
Maybe deleting my old account was a form of self-rejection. But also, nobody in the trans mega cared when I did post. People invalidated my feelings at times. People gatekept. I felt like I had to prove that I was dysphoric in order to be accepted. That made me more dysphoric.
I just want to find a space where my gender is actively being affirmed, not just “oh I accept you regardless” but like actually having girly conversations and doing girly things. And calling each other girly nicknames, and doing our hair and makeup and going shopping. Or something.
I want to start by saying I’m glad you’re here with us, and I hope I don’t come across as disingenuous when I say that. I am autistic, and I struggle with communication so please feel free to tell me to eff off or disengage if at any point my words make you uncomfortable, unaccepted, or invalidated in any way.
words
I can sympathize with the feelings of isolation with no real support, and the anxiety in social situations. Wish I had a formula I could share to make it easier, but if I’m honest I’m still trying to figure all that out myself. I hope you know it’s not selfish to want people to care, or notice when you’re struggling and need help. The reality is that you deserve a safe space to be your unique and beautiful self and have that celebrated and openly accepted by those around you. It’ll look different for everyone, but I think support can come in all shapes and flavors. The hard part is finding it and recognizing it. Hopefully we can give you a little bit of that here.
I can’t speak on the dysphoria personally, but please know you don’t have to prove anything. I am sorry things have been so difficult, and I genuinely wish that things get better soon. You’ve shared a lot and that’s not always an easy thing to do. You’re appreciated. Sending hugs if wanted.
Inside me there are two wolves. One wants a nap, the other one has drunk so much garbage my blood type is caffeine.
hands you a glass of water You know… For diluting the caffeine
Sweet, I can put caffeine tablets in that! No but actually I had some water and crashed, I slept for like 10 hours which isn’t really a nap.
Sounds like you really needed the sleep though, so I’m glad the water helped.
Also, please don’t put caffeine tablets in your water, it’s not good for you
i do not like that unemployment has become a meme thing to make fun of people for lately
I want to think that it’s children doing this and they are yet to discover the truth about jobs.
My alternative is usually “go outside”. despite porky’s wishes, I don’t need to be a nepo baby to go outside just yet.
ya, “go outside” or “log off” are the same kinda idea but without punching down at ppl. but ppl like punching down at ppl so ig i shouldn’t be surprised.
It sucks to see people ‘punching down’ like that, even in memes
where? i ain’t seen it but i admit i deliberately avoid most media social n otherwise
i see it pretty much everywhere, but especially in youtube comments
Now that you mention it, I’ve seen that too, it’s been cropping up very recently. I don’t get it, tbh, but then again, punching down is easy, so of course people hop on.
Might be a bit redundant, but, as we head into the weekend again I want you all to remember that you matter, you are loved, and you belong! Thank you for being such an awesome community and always lovin on one another; it’s lovely to witness. Ya’ll inspire this awkward gremlin on the other side of the screen.
We love our awkward little Gremlin
aww thanks
I wanted to say that all your kind comments as well as the conversations with all of you really picked up my spirits these last few days. I’m usually a very negative person when it comes down to me, and I tend to lash out at people around me when I’m feeling scared or in pain, often in immensely cruel ways. I had such a moment just this week, and was thinking of how I’m no better than my mother, but then you lot chimed in and really changed my perspective. I’m grateful to all of you, those who needed help as much as those who gave it. I’m just as conflicted as everybody else, I have my horrible moments, but I can also be a good person. So, ahm, thanks comrades, for making me feel human again.
glad to hear that
You’re a good friend, I’m sure we all hope we can be to you too. Hope you’re feeling much better soon.
I’m just gonna go live in an anarchist commune.
I’ve basically had free reign to contribute to this group I am organizing with these last 2 days and it’s felt so meaningful and impactful. I’m working on a website for a food co-op we are starting, and also working on helping set up a sponsored free breakfast program and it’s been so rewarding. I feel like I’m being seen for my skills I’m able to contribute and also being treated as a human. They are giving me feedback and actual meaningful praise that doesn’t feel like corpo jargon bullshit. I really hope this co-op takes off and we can create enough surplus that I can possibly quit my job and work for this full time. I’m not sure how NGO’s and non-profits manage all that. I might bring it up in our meeting tomorrow evening.
In any case, these last 2 days have been amazing for my mental health and now I gotta go back to my regular job. I’m trying to stay positive about it though.
I’m so happy to hear that! You finally got to do something actually meaningful, this is such big and beautiful news
(P.S.: Also, if you can, take me with you, I wanna help too.)
If the empire falls, I’m scooping up all the leftists and we are gonna build a place we can all live and thrive together.
Sign me up
We need people that can grow food. We need people who can build housing. We need teachers. We need healthcare folks. We need tech people. We got room for you!
I´m listening back to recordings of my patient interactions for my notes, and wondering aloud why none of my patients have punched me square in the face. My voice is so fucking annoying.
we all hate it own voices right? not that they’re bad but more that they’re wrong. they aren’t what we hear normally (from inside our skulls) so the less rich sound throws us off
Yeah but my voice is also just bad. I have a very distinct accent and I do the Seth Rogen laugh.
no fr i have to be careful people think I’m making fun of them
I found a YouTube link in your comment. Here are links to the same video on alternative frontends that protect your privacy:
Did you help your patients as best as you could? Because I’m sure they don’t mind the sound of your voice as long as you help them
I like to think I do my best. Although I’m not at a level where I do much besides move people, bring them things, ask questions or get in the way. One of my patients made fun of my accent so they definitely notice.
That’s annoying, to say the least. You’re working in a non-native language, which means you already do more than most people in their job. That’s impressive all on its own. And I too think you’re doing your best.
One of my neighbours is clearly not well, so she sometimes just screams for several minutes at a time. She sometimes repeats this in intervals over an hour or so. She’s not in distress and she neither wants nor needs help. She just screams. It’s not that big a deal except when she does it when I’m trying to sleep. She’s loud enough that earplugs don’t really solve the issue.
I don’t really know what to do here. I’m thinking of trying to sound proof my apartment but that feels a bit silly. I could also tell her to duck into her closet when she needs to scream, but I don’t know her well.
5·2 days agoYou live besides dyarikku?
But that does sound really irritating.
It isn’t great.
I found a YouTube link in your comment. Here are links to the same video on alternative frontends that protect your privacy:
Maybe report it to social services or ask the police to do a welfare check anyway.
I am absolutely 100% not calling the police on someone for being mentally ill or being annoying
I would generally agree. I wish healthcare professionals responded to wellness checks instead. The first time I was hospitalized, though, I went to a school counselor and talked to them. I don’t remember if it was a piglet (campus security) or the full grown thing that drove me to the ER, but it wasn’t a doctor or therapist or anything. What I mean is a welfare check is usually doesn’t have the same vibe as calling the police to catch or arrest or even scold somebody. But also it’s totally fair not to want to call police on them at all; they have a bad track record with mentally ill folks.
i did something really really hard yesterday, had a meltdown and threw up from the stress, but i did it. and there seems to be this expectation from the people around me, that cos i did it once i can do it again, indefinitely. but it takes me like, a week to recover from this sorta thing, or else i get super burnt out
like in highschool i would throw up from stress every morning and that didn’t stop until i started skipping 50% of my classes
i was not built for life i think
That’s awful. I used to get the same thing when I had a social life/work, etc. There eventually reached a stage where, whenever I had to do anything the next day, even if it was something fun, I would become sick the night before, and by the next morning I’d be vomiting and so ill I couldn’t go. Didn’t realise at the time it was anxiety.
i was not built for life i think
It’s just that life now is set up to be awful. Enforced early starts, deadlines, threats of homelessness and destitution if you don’t achieve what you’re meant to. Humans have created this mess, it’s not natural. There’s a film from about 1971 called “Walkabout” about 2 kids who get lost in the Australian outback, meet an Aborigine boy and spend some time living with him, and that is what I think life is meant to be like. No stress, no early starts, no unnatural enforced activity. Just waking up when you naturally feel like it, searching for food, swimming, eating, walking around and sleeping.
thanks for that
god i want to live in a hunter gatherer society so bad
Me too! Another film about living like that is The Clan of the Cave Bear.
Having such a volatile response sounds absolutely exhausting, physically and mentally. You deserve the space to take the time you need to recover, without the expectation to keep pushing yourself before you’re ready or able. Hope you aren’t being pressured too much to do so. Sending hugs, and calming energy, comrade.
thanks
there’s a bit of pressure, but im pretty sure most of it is coming from internally. i have pretty bad productivity brainworms, i think
I hear you. The internal, unseen stuff feels like the biggest hurdles sometimes.
Sometimes people decide to throw garbage in a spot on the ground rather than a dumpster, doesn’t matter who did ot first, everyone else did it.
that spot on the ground with piles of trash on it is me.I guess I missed this when you first posted it. It’s probably projection, but this very much reminded me of feelings I struggled with during a time in my life where I was being heavily bullied. Hope you’re doin okay, comrade.
once there a small frog was born, it didn’t make ribbit noises, it stayed silent and never jumped around other frogs, the frog was afraid for its life, one time the frog saw another frog eating an insect that jumped, the frog was told its fear was irrational that the frog is a frog not an insect, but the frog did think what would happen if an insect was too big the other frogs couldn’t eat it at the ground because its feet would hold it. One day the little frog found a friend, a wise frog, somehow the little frog was befriended by a frog respected by other frogs, told it “I know what you are, you belittle yourself, you’re another frog, I was like you I know you can do it like the other frogs” the little frog under the pressure of respect by other frogs trusted the wise one and asked it “but how did you overcome it” it told it to follow it. The river was their destination and the wise frog said “you’re a frog, you’re a swimmer, you can reach the other side of this river” they approached the shore together, at that moment the little frog looked at the river, “although although we’re different sizes and colors in the reflection of the stream both are frogs”, at that moment all doubt left the little frog, it told itself “I’m a frog, I see what I never saw before and I will jump and cross this river” the entire frog community cheered it before it jumped and cheered even harder when they tricked that insect into believing it was nothing more than that day’s lunch.
sleepy. I would like to be less sleepy. Please fix this.
sends you wakey energy Here you go
How did that work?!?
Magic
Teach me your witchy ways.
I was trying to come up with a witty reply but failed, so I’m gonna say it’s just positive thoughts for my fellow comrades
I’ve been reporting companies to the Powers That Be for discriminatory practices during interviews that violate the Civil Rights Act and ADEA and actually had some success in having them investigated with their posts flagged/removed on online job boards. Small victories.
It’s the small things that keep you going. Thank you for your service, comrade
Thanks, love. It’s amazing how willfully ignorant these capitalists are. Hope you’re healing up ok and not pushing yourself too hard
Definitely, it’s annoying as fuck. But you made a difference, and that’s what counts.
And thank you! I’m going on my stupid little walks for my stupid little butt health.
how can I cope with being hopeless, I don’t want to explain my situation, I don’t want to be lectured about how I can get out of my situation, I just want to cope without being addicted to some substance.
I would like to help you figure that out, comrade. Can you maybe tell me what “cope” means to you personally? Depending on what it means to you, the answer might change.
holding myself together until it gets slightly better
Alright, thank you. I have a few things that work for me, and maybe some could help you.
- Music: There’s songs that make it easier to hold out. Just blast them on your headphones, or maybe sing/scream along. It’s venting mostly, when hopelessness turns into rage.
- Iron Will Mode: not easy, and probably also not healthy, but sometimes when everything gets too much, I force myself to suffer through whatever it is just out of pure spite. The goal is to outlast the hopelessness, and I remind myself that humans are masters of patience. We tamed wild animals with a lot of patience, so I can use the same patience to withstand and outlast any form of mental strain, be it pressure or hopelessness.
- Depending on what is causing the hopelessness, finding someone to spend time with who does not judge you and sympathizes with your struggle. A person to share the room with who will not tell you what to do but be there for you while still giving you space. (A pet might work too if you like them/can afford one.)
I wanna say that it doesn’t matter what makes you hopeless, comrade, and I don’t need to know any details. All I hope is that your hopelessness does not become too strong. I’ve had my share of substance abuse issues too, and they never make anything better. I hope you can pull through. I believe in you
thanks
I am so sick of having to deal with prescriptions. This month there were more issues. I got my script and struggled to even find a pharmacy that could fulfil it. It took days to find a pharmacy that had the exact thyroid and cancer meds that I need. And it was a pharmacy further away than usual, my landlady drove me there to get it but it pissed her off that she had to help me with yet another thing. Another bother is that i asked the GP surgery - even wrote them a letter asking - that they put my thyroid and cancer meds on a separate script from the other items. But they ignored this and put all the items together. The pharmacy didn’t have the other items in stock. This means we have to go back there another day to collect the other things. Why can’t the damn GP surgery just do as I ask for once?
And I’m struggling to stay in laundry disinfectant. Because I’m immunocompromised and riddled with infections, I have to wash my laundry in medical grade disinfectant. My skin infections are so bad and so persistent that I’ve been hospitalised because of them on multiple occasions and of course had multiple surgeries on my foot infections. The laundry disinfectant helps a lot. But it’s not provided on the NHS, that’s another thing I have to pay for myself. No money of course. I’ve made about 3 mutual aid posts and two lemmy posts asking for help with this.
And my period has started just 2 weeks after the last one.
I’m so tired, why does everything always have to be a struggle?
First things first:
Now, as to the rest. I remember that a while ago, I asked my doctor about this prescription stuff too, and they told me it’s apparently mandatory to issue as few prescription sheets as possible. Don’t know who makes the rules, but it could be a simple case of “Your GP has to follow a stupid rule” and not a “I dislike this patient and am gonna make their life more difficult”. At least I hope that’s the case here too. If not, fuck the GP.
I sympathize with the irregular period. The stress of the last few days might have something to do with it, so I hope this’ll be a one time only event. Feel hugged, love.
I also hope someone comes through with the laundry disinfectant, can’t be that you get another infection because of this one thing.
If they have to issue as few prescription sheets as possible, I wish they would just say so instead of just ignoring my request. But it makes it impossible for me to get my prescriptions, for instance one place has the 100mg thyroxine I need. Another place has the 25mg thyroxine. Another place has the 50mg thyroxine. Another place has the other meds. I can’t get them all in one place and most of them can’t even order the items I need in. So for instance today I took a sheet to the only chemist in town who has a type of thyroxine I need, I got the thyroxine but there were other items on the script they can’t get, so I guess I just go without those items now. Surely it’s better to issue a few extra sheets rather than let me go without meds. I’m so tired of dealing with it every month. Also my landlady has to drive me from chemist to chemist and complains about it.
I’m writing a letter to the GP to ask for 2 month (or loner) prescriptions instead of one month so i am not constantly dealing with this. I’ll see what they say.
Anyway, thanks for listening.
Always, and good luck, love
gingerbrat has taken up the mantle of being a super-supporter of everyone, and that gives me peace ❤️❤️❤️
🫂 thank you for being the kind light that everyone needs
I’m sorry I’m not here to echo that kindness constantly, but all of you, please know that I do think of you and do wish endless blessings upon all of you ❤️
i wanna second loving gingerbrat’s hard work of constant positive support. i gots hyperempathy and just get so depressed seeing the suffering, especially the suffering imposed by this baby-grinder of a “healthcare” system.
Rather than be beaten down, she puts in that effort, takes on that load. Even when she’s not talking to me, i’m still lifted up, and just… just enormously grateful for her fortitude, grace, and love.
I wanna hug all of you (if you want to) all the time.
I get the hyperempathy and the overload feeling when it comes to the medical torture system. What I’ve realized over the years is that we all have the strength to carry on, despite the odds. But sometimes, you feel alone, so utterly, hopelessly alone and abandoned by people, love, and reason, it’s crushing your soul and body. I remember being in these situations so many times as a teen, I was desperate for someone to tell me they understood, or at the very least, didn’t blame me for feeling bad. I just wanted someone to listen and actually hear what I was feeling. And while I did not have anyone like that, I realized that I could try to be that person for someone somewhere else. So I’m trying, even if it’s just a little bit.
hug all of you (if you want)
yes. yes i love hugs thanks
It’s good to see you here again.
Oh you
You almost made me cry, love. I appreciate your kindness in turn, and I hope your life is filled with blessings and as much joy as possible. I know the world isn’t looking too bright, but I want my comrades to be happy.
