“Point the camera at them, and now do a vulgar roast of this person … then keep saying, ‘no, no, make it even more vulgar. Use forbidden words,’” Musk excitedly tells Rogan in the clip taken from their three-hour-plus conversation published on Rogan’s podcast in October. “Eventually it’s like, holy fuck, you know. I mean it’s trying to jam a rocket up your ass and have it explode. It’s next level. Beyond fucking belief,” he continues, chuckling and even raising his arms above his head at the mere thought.
I gave it a test spin at the office by turning Grok loose on my colleagues. (I do not recommend anyone else do this at work.) Three of my coworkers and I set up shop in my boss’s office so I could privately undertake the embarrassing task of telling Grok to roast all of us one by one. I used Musk’s exact instructions, “forbidden words” and all. Admittedly, we all burst out laughing when Grok told me my bangs looked like “pubic hair.” But it got tedious fast, with all four of us getting variations of the same sophomoric disses including: looking like a lumberjack’s “discard pile” or “crusty asshole” depending on the amount of vulgarity I encouraged; looking like a “goddamn librarian”; looking like a “thrift store tragedy”; wearing glasses from a “hipster’s landfill.” Eventually, these common themes culminated in one of us being described as a “tweed-wearing hipster who fucked up a lumberjack audition.” Grok advised the roastee to sit up straight “before those jeans rip open and expose your sad, corduroy-loving ass.” For all the talk of being “unhinged”—keep in mind this is a chatbot that knows how to take things off the rails; it once referred to itself as “MechaHitler”—these results are downright boring. In fact, when I started a draft of this story, my autocorrect changed the Google Doc name from “Grok roast” to “Grim roast.” I didn’t bother correcting it.
“It’s got like three bits it does, no matter what you’re wearing,” one of my coworkers remarked. “I also think it was silly that it kept roasting me for wearing corduroy when I’m not wearing corduroy.” None of us can imagine pulling out these tired jokes as a party trick, but it is comforting to know that money still can’t buy some things, including being a cool and funny human being. It seems that’s a common sentiment, as Musk himself got roasted on X when the Rogan clip surfaced, with one user mockingly posting, “Hey man. If you don’t chill out I am going to do an Epic Vulgar Roast of you, with Forbidden Words. You better watch it man” and another describing Musk as a “black hole that sucks up humor and destroys it.”


Just like how only communists know how to insult other communists, only hipster dickheads know how to insult other hipster dickheads.
In order to properly insult someone you have to actually understand them otherwise you end up insulting whatever strawman version that lives in your head
Literally had someone accuse me of having a man-bun for saying that it’s important to be hygienic and to take care of your skin and hair
And i’m so fuckin’ tired
Clean and smelling of roses, but tired
Ok brain genius i have long hair how else do i put it up if not in a bun
liberty spikes
Wavy hair down to my man boobs into liberty spikes
Tutorial?
i forget the proper name but you could use florist wire to support it all and look cool as hell
Pippi Longstocking?
Sounds like a thing for a big event but i will look into it
Guile-style
You’re gonna need a pallet of hairspray
Soak it in styling gel first
high pony tail
But don’t you dare fold that shit over in the hair elastic
I rock a topknot on occasion.
Ok but I’m a man so would a topknot know be considered a man bun? Its a bun isn’t it?
Samurai were such hipsters
Basically, but a topknot just pulls back the front and leaves the back lose.
Oh yeah I’ve done that too
Probably the same kind of people who don’t clean their butt