• hello_hello [comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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    15 hours ago

    “The Department of Homeland Security receives hundreds of television show pitches a year,” she said in a statement. “Each proposal undergoes a thorough vetting process prior to denial or approval.”

    Ah yes, homeland security involves reviewing slop television pitches.

    The losing contestants will go home with “iconically American” prizes, including a million American Airlines points, a $10,000 Starbucks gift card, and a lifetime supply of 76 gasoline. They will also have a leg up as they undergo the traditional citizenship process.

    The big winner, meanwhile, will get sworn in as an American citizen on Capitol Hill by “a top American politician or judge.”

    agony-consuming

    edit:

    But the Homeland Security secretary has remained unfazed by the criticism: “Every day I wake up and there’s new criticisms,” she told Fox News last month. “It’s something different every single day, so I try not to pay attention to the noise.”

    • SoyViking [he/him]@hexbear.net
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      9 hours ago

      The losing contestants will go home with “iconically American” prizes, including a million American Airlines points, a $10,000 Starbucks gift card, and a lifetime supply of 76 gasoline.

      I can’t tell if this is satire or not

      • Belly_Beanis [he/him]@hexbear.net
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        8 hours ago

        Hey chat can you help me balance the budget?

        • $0 for education
        • $0 for infrastructure
        • $0 for medicine
        • $17,121 to deport someone
        • $10,000 on Starbucks gift cards
        • 45,000 gallons of gas starting at $4.17 per gallon

        Really struggling with this.