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3 months agoI was in this same boat for a long, long time. The only thing that saved me was entirely replacing my social circle with other trans folks. It’s become a space where I truly know they perceived me as a woman. If you want suggestions, gay bars or [local area] discord server. Once you meet a couple trans folks, it spiderwebs from there, most of us know a ton of other trans folks. If you don’t want suggestions, you have my sympathy and love. You will find a better life, one that you find worth living.
The awkward thing about martial arts is that (assuming you’ve already tried to de-escalate and failed, of course) you have two options. Either you accept that your opponent is going to get to do what they want to you, or you commit to using all available force to stop them. This means the most useful ways to stop a person are dubiously legal, and teaching them as part of a public martial arts school is definitely illegal. There’s also the perverse incentive of schools to promote flashier styles or moves, even if they’re less effective, because that means attracting new students.
All that is to say, the second most effective method of self defense is leaving that situation, and the most effective is never entering it in the first place. As usual, individual focus on training and martial arts can only do so much against fash violence, and proper resistance requires defense organized on the level of communities, not individuals.