Y’know, when I signed up for this back in June I had grand plans for some grand writeup on the domestically produced unmagnified gunsights of Cuba. I had collected images and info and sources but I lost sight of it as life stuff happened and my time for the trans mega snuck up on me.

Que sera sera.

Anyways, today felt like the first whisper (you have no idea how hard I just thought about the ideal word for this metaphor) of autumn and that put me in the mood for one of my favorite autumnal albums. More Constant Than the Gods by SubRosa is a really lovely doom? sludge? metal album. I like how big it sounds. The lead vocalist is a really talented lady, and its got violins, also the lyrics talk about dying and stuff and I’m into that. Its very fall-y to me, as is Standard Time Volume 1 by Wynton Marsalis, but for extremely different reasons.

The funny thing is that, like the poster of the previous mega it is also my 5th transiversary, I started HRT half a decade ago today (ok technically it was the 17th but I’m gonna count it since thats when I started writing this). Now, I don’t think that taking HRT was what made me “officially trans”, rather it was the degree of self acceptance required to get to that point. It’s a long story, and one I prefer to share privately, but it took a very, very long time before my fear and desperation gave me the strength to allow myself to have this. I think it all turned out pretty well, I experience existence in much higher fidelity, I’m this whole person, along with everything that entails.

I feel very blessed to be transgender.

I hope you all stay safe and have a good, or atleast tolerable week.

Join our public Matrix server!

https://rentry.co/tracha#tracha-rooms

As a reminder, please do not discuss current struggle sessions in the mega. We want this to be a little oasis for all of us and the best way to do that is not to feed into existing conflict on the site.

Also, be sure to properly give content warnings and put sensitive subjects behind proper spoiler tags. It’s for the mental health of not just your comrades, but yourself as well.

Here is a screenshot of where to find the spoiler button.

A picture of the Hexbear posting interface with the spoiler button highlighted with an arrow

  • gaystyleJoker [she/her]@hexbear.netMEnglish
    4·
    4 days ago

    guess who’s about to fly off the fucking handle if you don’t sign up to make a mega? this gal (imagine i put my fist thumb-first through drywall)

    MoonElf (8/25 - 8/31)
GayTuckerCarlson* (9/1 - 9/7)
nemmybun (9/8 - 9/14)
Eco* (9/15 - 9/21)
Disaster_of_Passion* (9/22 - 9/28)
Carcharodonna* (9/29 - 10/5)
sodium_nitride* (10/6 - 10/12)
peanutbuttercupola* (10/13 - 10/19)
oscardejarjayes* (10/20 - 10/26)
Wmill (10/27 - 11/2)
Shaleesh* (11/3 - 11/9)

peanutbuttercupola* (12/29 - 1/4)

    ​ * after name denotes someone who has posted before and will be skipped by first-time posters

  • BountifulEggnog [she/her]@hexbear.netEnglish
    1·
    3 minutes ago

    The good: Girl at work said I reminded her of Ariel

    the bad (dysphoria + envy + dwelling)

    Got kinda in my head earlier and upset about the fact I’ll never get to look like how other women my age look. The experiences either- idk its probably viewed as “immature” or whatever but idk. I sleptwalked through the last 6~ years and I feel like I missed out. And even looking forward, obviously it will take a will for hrt to do its thing. So its not even really like I get the next few.

    slightly worse

    Low key don’t feel like I’m ever going to get to be attractive and that is very sad to me.

    That already got kinda ugly at the end so I’m not going to worm post, second good thing is my check is going to be fuckin fat. Wish I could do this every week

  • TerminalEncounter [she/her]@hexbear.netEnglish
    4·
    3 hours ago
    talking about strap ons

    Underrated aspect of bottom surgery: picking your strap. Im a little limited cause I got my birth gock. Looking forward to having wolf strap, vibratory strap, big strap, silicone mold version of my gock (wanna use that on myself lol)

  • Wmill [they/them, fae/faer]@hexbear.netEnglish
    3·
    6 hours ago

    no-copyright and the black knight was an odd game like you can swing the wiimote around wild but there are visual and auditory cues that if you line up just right can let you finish a boss very quickly. It’s kinda what I love about these games having a learning curve that once you master it it’s like a flow you enter. That flow state is akin to watching a cut scene, like I’m doing everything right and it feel cinematic far different from QTE where you have to wait for the next press and get the sequence right.

    I can honestly say playing no-copyright games is a lot like playing a musical instrument. Sometimes I be playing something so nice that I’m listening to myself and I can swear I’m listening to a recording as I dissociate and just watch. I force myself back just to interrupt myself to make sure the music was coming from me and not a recording. That’s how I feel with no-copyright

  • CrookedSerpent [she/her]@hexbear.netEnglish
    7·
    8 hours ago

    I’m inventing a new type of guy (girl):

    genitals mentioned (funny)

    Girl who has issues about having sex with her penis, not because of bottom dysphoria, but because of completely unrelated Freudian insecurities. The guy(girl) is me.

  • Shaleesh [she/her, comrade/them]@hexbear.netOPEnglish
    6·
    8 hours ago

    Just painted 70% of my nails, deep blue sparkles on the middle fingers and navy blue creme on the rest. Now I’m sitting here thinking about stripping it all off and putting on my favorite red… again. Agony.

  • 0x2640 [pup/pup's, she/her]@hexbear.netEnglish
    8·
    9 hours ago

    we used to be like “but like why would you not vote for anybody instead of voting dem” and then we actually decided to read up and educate ourselves and realized “waow the “lesser of two evils” is still fucking evil shit would not be any better”

    dunno what the purpose of this post is, just felt like putting that out there

  • EstraDoll [she/her, he/him]@hexbear.netEnglish
    13·
    10 hours ago

    fortunately, somehow, my coworker had a spare PC he was wanting to get rid of that he hadn’t touched in months that he sold me for $200. Despite its age it’s still a better running PC than what I was using before. I need a new monitor to get it to work with an HDMI cable but the very thin thread that I my mental state was holding on by is now a little thicker