The American conservative truly is everything they think the average citizen of the DPRK is
Of course, where else would they get the idea that so many people could genuinely be like that?
Sadly, the man of steel was defeated by his single weakness: bullets.
The bullet
Even in death, Charlie managed to save the lives of those around him.
Even in death? Who tf did he save when he was alive?
One gorillian fetuses who he convinced the mother’s not to abort with his epic logic
He saved many lives from liberalism.
This attempt to convert Charlie Kirk into some sort of saint is just really funny to me
Like, I grew up Catholic, I know lots of funny stories about people who died in weird ways and got canonized for it
Now I’m just more convinced that most of those stories were just jerks lying about their favorite assholes
You can tell he typed this out one-handed.
As my partner just said - “well yeah, we already knew Charlie Kirk was dense”
I’d change the title. Don’t appreciate the psychosis joke.
Charlie Kirk was 11 feet tall and weighed 30 tons. His skin was riveted iron and his bones were a titanium-strontium alloy. He could shoot lasers from his eyes and breathe cold fire. He was the reincarnation of jesus, pontius pilate, caesar, charlemagne, and william wallace. He was the kwisatz haderach and a close personal friend of jeffrey epstein.
let me lay it on the line, he had four on the vine, i mean two sets of testicles, so divine
Doesn’t matter if it’s a 9mm, some weird smaller shot made in a mormon weapons forge or a huge fuckin 50’ cal. Any bullet of any size going through your neck is gonna kill ya, especially if it grazes or hits an artery like it did with Charlie. From what I was told by someone finishing up medical school; it looked like he immediately started stroking out or losing control of part of his brain if you checked his arms while he went down. It was likely the shot entered his neck and tumbled, reducing velocity or hit his spine and bounced into his brainstem. Disco Elysium has something on this if you ever got the check to dig around in the Hanged Man’s throat.
I mean the odds of you surviving that is less than you straight up dying from it. What’s crazy to me is that I would expect there to be a trauma team like right nearby. The public speaking event I attended had a whole medical suite with a trauma team, with security and this was before the Kirk incident. Then again…Utah. But yeah, with immediate trauma treatment it’s likely he would have survived with some major brain damage or spinal damage depending on how the bullet tumbled. Blood gushing out of you like that so close to your brain with no exit wound or not means that your brain is going to have some severe damage as the blood quite literally pours out of it.
There’s a good joke to be made here about the actual Man of Steel.
Yep, that’s who I meant!
There was nobody standing behind him lol
The bullet would have gone through the earth and ricocheted off 2 billion Chinese citizens. Charlie used the LORD’s strength to protect them.
Can you please remove the line about “voices in his head” from the title?
Okay but that’s still just “man with steel inside him” not “of steel” because if he was “of steel” his skin and blood would be steel. He’d be all steel.
He flopped to the ground like a sack of potatoes. Which is probably normal if you get shot in the neck, but trying to spin that into a “Man of steel” narrative is more than a bit silly.
